Okay, I guess it's my turn...

Hi everyone!

Well, I decided that I have spent enough time in the shadows of our blog and needed to come forward so everyone knew there actually IS someone else in the equation.  Sorry it has taken so long, but in all honesty, it’s intimidating for me with this topic. I’m not as well-versed on the terminology as Kerry, nor am I as educated as most of the viewers of our blog.  So to save face, and not feel embarrassed, I’ve just hung out in the shadows.  The reality, though, is that I DO have value to add – and I’m ready to attempt to do just that.

I have blood work to complete and then we are ready to order our donor specimen.  We are getting so close to our first IUI procedure, and it’s exciting and scary all at once.  WOW, this is really happening!!  We’re going to be parents before we know it. 

I feel as though I have the outsider’s perspective on this entire process, and am likely experiencing some of the feelings that a lot of people in our shoes have experienced: 

Will I be affected emotionally by NOT having any biological tie to our child? 

Will our child love me the same, even though I didn’t birth him/her? 

Will I have the answers to the questions he/she will undoubtedly ask about their father?

Will my family feel connected to our child since there is no biological tie to me?

I sometimes feel like the innocent bystander to an accident that happens out on the street.  I see everything that is happening, and I have an understanding of what it all means, but I’m just standing idly by on the sidewalk, waiting for the accident to happen.  How am I going to TIE myself to the process and involvement so that I’m NOT that person?

 

Well…in my mind it’s easy:   Love.

A house full of love.  Answers full of honesty and love. Family and friends that share their love. 

Does that answer every question?  No, it doesn’t, but we aren’t delusional enough to think so either.  We just want to raise our child in love, honesty, and surrounded by people willing to offer their support at any time.  We will have a child that is blessed with two moms, and we’ll ensure he/she is also blessed with a positive, male influence throughout life.  

Typically, this is the point that a lot of people fear most:  no dad.

Well, I have a cousin who calls her step-father “Dad,” and views him as her father.  No biological tie there.  I have friends whose fathers were absent, yet they turned out just fine.  Our child will as well.

Are there other factors that will set them apart from their friends and classmates?  Of course, but it’s our job as PARENTS to ensure they feel safe, happy, loved, and have an understanding that there are many differences in people and life….and whatever they may feel about that is “OK” and acceptable!  And most importantly, we love and support them – always!

Hopefully I didn’t run the course of thoughts as erratically as I feel…but it feels good to get my thoughts on this board now.  If there are questions, ask them...we'll be sure to answer as best we can!

More to come, from both of us, as we continue down this wonderfully crazy road!! 

2 more steps!

After trying to find a psychologist who would take insurance for the counseling we are required to do by out RE, we gave up. Apparently this isn't something really covered by insurance. Not so happy about that... So after a ton of emails and calls to people, we finally found a lady to work with. Granted, it's $100 a session, but since it's something we HAVE to do, we thought we would go with someone who we think would be worth our money. I'm not the type of person who likes to talk to complete strangers about my personal life, but I'm actually excited about it! Jaci is more of the talker in our relationship, which I love because I really do hate talking to people! So next Tuesday is our first session. Hoping there is no more than 2. The last step of our process before buying the goods is that Jaci has to get her blood work done. She will probably do that next week and then we will be ordering! That is the most exciting part for me. 

I have been charting this cycle and started to take prenatals at the beginning of April. I feel like it is all finally coming together. My boss came over to my desk around 3:15 and told me to go home! Wasn't going to argue with that! I am loving my new boss and my new job. Tomorrow we are going to church with our friends who are due in June. I'm excited to see them. Last time we hung out with them, we were at dinner for 3 hours talking nonstop. They were very open about their process and it was really helpful to us. Well, happy Easter all!

Finally, I Can Breathe!

Wow it's been way too long. The wife and I have been extremely busy with our new house, my thesis, and making invitations for a friend's wedding. Now that we have all of that out of the way, we can focus on baby making! We have picked a donor. I think after you pick a donor, everything really starts setting in. It's no longer just about all of the tests to see if everything is functioning correctly... It's REAL! 

I have really begun charting now and trying to nail down my ovulation days since my cycles are so many days. I think the hardest part is trying to figure out how everything is going to work with all of our summer vacations. It's not very convenient to have to go into the RE when you are supposed to start the day you leave for Hawaii. Ugh. Hopefully everything falls into place! I will leave you with a picture of our bathroom remodel. Along with my father-in-law and brother, my wife and I spent a weekend with this project. Cutting the tile was ridiculously tedious! 

Before-

After-

No more mint chocolate chip!

2013

Wow! This year has gone by incredibly fast. Before the recap, I thought I would update you on my Monday appointment. I had 2 follicles measuring at 16cm and 19cm! So the Clomid is definitely doing it's job. 

Here's our year in review:

We went to our first fertility seminar in April! They had a same-sex one the week before the one we went to, but I was clearly too busy getting my gallbladder taken out. Look how fantastic that was!

This is after going through a ton of tests at the beginning of the year like an endoscopy and one of those scans where you have to lay on a table for an hour while they take pictures after they inject you with some crazy dye. I finally just got them to take it out after spending a bunch of money on tests that said I didn't have anything wrong with me, to find out my gallbladder was diseased (I think they should give you your money back if you turn out to be right). 

In June, we had our "2nd wedding" in Key West. That was our most favorite trip ever. It was like we were on vacation with our 50 closest friends and family members. 

Over the rest of 2013, I have sprained my ankle and my wife recently cut her knuckle off with a mandolin. We have had many ailments this year and I'm hoping that we will see a decline in 2014. Haha! We also bought a house but don't officially close until 1/15 so that will be our great start to 2014. 

Some things to look forward to in 2014:

-Our new house

-Some time of snowboarding trip to the Poconos. Even if it's only a day! 

-Starting our TTC process in hopefully March/April/May

-Getting my Master's in Forensic Science!

-Going to Jaci's best friends wedding in Cincinnati in April. (I'm making her invitations)

-Going to Hawaii in June

-Definitely fitting a shore trip in. 

-Going to one of my good friend's weddings near Sonoma, CA in September. 

-Possibly making a stop in my old city of San Diego. Really missing the warmth right about now during snowstorm Hercules!

The next few months will be busy with my thesis and thinking about the TTC process. I'm really thinking about acupuncture. Not only for fertility but for this constant pain in my neck! Anyone do it and love it? Or hate it?

Woohoo!

Today was my follow up appointment at the RE. I took my last dose of Clomid on Christmas night and I'm happy to say that I had no side effects. I should probably double check with my wife on that one to be sure. Haha! But really, I was just a little exhausted and that may have been Christmas exhaustion. 

I am not very good at listening (my wife will read this and nod her head in agreement), but everything she said seemed good during the ultrasound. Because I have longer cycles, they want me to come in on Monday for another round of blood work and ultrasound. My uterine lining measured 6cm and I had a follicle on the right of 14cm and one on the left that was 12cm I think? I'm interested to see how much they grow on Monday! And if I'm THAT excited about my follicles growing, I imagine I will be even more excited when there is a baby growing. 

Still on the agenda before we can TTC:

1. Scheduling an appointment with a counselor to make sure we are not insane. (I think all parents should be required to do this)

2. My wife needs to go get her blood work done. Thankfully it's not as extensive as mine because she saw me as pale as a ghost after mine and I am half Filipino! 

3. Picking a donor! This is going to be, by far, the HARDEST part of this process. We know we want an open donor and the selection is not very large. Maybe that's supposed to make it easier? 

In other news, we had to take one of our pups to the emergency vet on Christmas Eve because he tweaked his leg. Found out he has a luxating patella and will most likely need surgery. I feel so bad for him because he is a very active dog and it's clear that his leg is bothering him. Here's a picture of the little man and his sister in the back on Christmas Eve. 

It's been a long time!

Wow! It's almost Christmas. Where did the time go? We have been super busy the past few months and I have been meaning to post about it all!

Here's what has been going on:

1. We went to Disneyworld with my wife's family the first week of November. It was a blast and my wife had only been to Disneyland so she was more excited than our nephews. 

2. Our first anniversary of our New York wedding was on 11/11! 

3. My 30th birthday was on the 19th and I had a combined party with my best friend at this awesome karaoke room in Philly. My wife and her husband rented us a limo, took us to this awesome tapas place and rented a karaoke room for almost 30 of our friends. So fun!

4. My wife's birthday is 13 days after mine so I took her out to a comedy show with some coworkers and friends and she had no idea they were coming. 

5. We went back to Kentucky to visit my wife's family and have our Christmas with them. Then we got stuck there for a couple of days because of the snow. 

6. Last but not least... WE BOUGHT A HOUSE! We close next month and have been sooo crazy busy picking out decorations and paints and furniture. So exciting.

And not so exciting news... My wife sliced off her knuckle on a mandolin while trying to make pot roast. We had to take a trip to the ER when there was a state of emergency because of snow/sleet. She was a trooper though and made jokes the whole time! 

Oh, and today, I went to the RE to start my clomid challenge to see how I test for it. I got some blood drawn and an ultrasound done and was out of there in 15 minutes. I start it on Saturday and end it on Christmas. I hope I'm not a grump on Christmas! I'm nervous about these stupid side effects. Once we get this out of the way, I'm done with all of the testing! Yay!! So many people are having babies or getting pregnant and I'm so very happy for all of them. It's making my baby fever grow for sure! 

Rise and Shine!

Last weekend the wife and I joined some friends and my goddaughter in more fall adventures. We went to a farm near my mom's house that has always been a fond childhood memory of mine. I was happy to share it with Jaci too and we had a great time. We started off with a hayride around the farm. Along the way we saw aliens made out of pumpkins and Spongebob Haypants. After the hayride, we went to the 5 acre corn maze. Yes, 5 acres in the dark with our flashlights. They give you a map of the maze and there are 8 stops inside with trivia questions and a "You Are Here" dot at each stop. While it may seem like it would be easy since we had a map, it was not. We only saw 3 out of the 8 stops and spent a good half hour stuck in in the corn! It was definitely a challenging and a lot of fun. I picture us taking our child there one day and it makes me smile.

Here is the 5 acre maze. We definitely got stuck in the rooster's tail a few times. I love that they put so much effort into designing it!

On another note, I had my HSG on Wednesday. For those unfamiliar with it, HSG is short for Hysterosalpingogram. Basically a contrast is injected through your uterus to see if there are any blockages in your fallopian tubes. I was very anxious about this test because the hysteroscopy was so uncomfortable for me, but it was definitely a lot easier! Once they injected the liquid, we saw it running quickly through the fallopian tube. The doctor said it was the fastest he has ever seen it go through and that made us very happy. The next step is the Clomid Challenge. Because I am not regular at all, they want to see if Clomid will be a good option for me. I assume that won't be until December, which I am totally okay with because we are going to be very busy the next couple of months with house hunting and a trip to Disney!