Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Okay, I guess it's my turn...

Hi everyone!

Well, I decided that I have spent enough time in the shadows of our blog and needed to come forward so everyone knew there actually IS someone else in the equation.  Sorry it has taken so long, but in all honesty, it’s intimidating for me with this topic. I’m not as well-versed on the terminology as Kerry, nor am I as educated as most of the viewers of our blog.  So to save face, and not feel embarrassed, I’ve just hung out in the shadows.  The reality, though, is that I DO have value to add – and I’m ready to attempt to do just that.

I have blood work to complete and then we are ready to order our donor specimen.  We are getting so close to our first IUI procedure, and it’s exciting and scary all at once.  WOW, this is really happening!!  We’re going to be parents before we know it. 

I feel as though I have the outsider’s perspective on this entire process, and am likely experiencing some of the feelings that a lot of people in our shoes have experienced: 

Will I be affected emotionally by NOT having any biological tie to our child? 
Will our child love me the same, even though I didn’t birth him/her? 
Will I have the answers to the questions he/she will undoubtedly ask about their father?
Will my family feel connected to our child since there is no biological tie to me?

I sometimes feel like the innocent bystander to an accident that happens out on the street.  I see everything that is happening, and I have an understanding of what it all means, but I’m just standing idly by on the sidewalk, waiting for the accident to happen.  How am I going to TIE myself to the process and involvement so that I’m NOT that person?
 
Well…in my mind it’s easy:   Love.

A house full of love.  Answers full of honesty and love. Family and friends that share their love. 
Does that answer every question?  No, it doesn’t, but we aren’t delusional enough to think so either.  We just want to raise our child in love, honesty, and surrounded by people willing to offer their support at any time.  We will have a child that is blessed with two moms, and we’ll ensure he/she is also blessed with a positive, male influence throughout life.  

Typically, this is the point that a lot of people fear most:  no dad.

Well, I have a cousin who calls her step-father “Dad,” and views him as her father.  No biological tie there.  I have friends whose fathers were absent, yet they turned out just fine.  Our child will as well.

Are there other factors that will set them apart from their friends and classmates?  Of course, but it’s our job as PARENTS to ensure they feel safe, happy, loved, and have an understanding that there are many differences in people and life….and whatever they may feel about that is “OK” and acceptable!  And most importantly, we love and support them – always!

Hopefully I didn’t run the course of thoughts as erratically as I feel…but it feels good to get my thoughts on this board now.  If there are questions, ask them...we'll be sure to answer as best we can!

More to come, from both of us, as we continue down this wonderfully crazy road!! 

Friday, April 18, 2014

2 more steps!

After trying to find a psychologist who would take insurance for the counseling we are required to do by out RE, we gave up. Apparently this isn't something really covered by insurance. Not so happy about that... So after a ton of emails and calls to people, we finally found a lady to work with. Granted, it's $100 a session, but since it's something we HAVE to do, we thought we would go with someone who we think would be worth our money. I'm not the type of person who likes to talk to complete strangers about my personal life, but I'm actually excited about it! Jaci is more of the talker in our relationship, which I love because I really do hate talking to people! So next Tuesday is our first session. Hoping there is no more than 2. The last step of our process before buying the goods is that Jaci has to get her blood work done. She will probably do that next week and then we will be ordering! That is the most exciting part for me. 

I have been charting this cycle and started to take prenatals at the beginning of April. I feel like it is all finally coming together. My boss came over to my desk around 3:15 and told me to go home! Wasn't going to argue with that! I am loving my new boss and my new job. Tomorrow we are going to church with our friends who are due in June. I'm excited to see them. Last time we hung out with them, we were at dinner for 3 hours talking nonstop. They were very open about their process and it was really helpful to us. Well, happy Easter all!

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Finally, I Can Breathe!

Wow it's been way too long. The wife and I have been extremely busy with our new house, my thesis, and making invitations for a friend's wedding. Now that we have all of that out of the way, we can focus on baby making! We have picked a donor. I think after you pick a donor, everything really starts setting in. It's no longer just about all of the tests to see if everything is functioning correctly... It's REAL! 
I have really begun charting now and trying to nail down my ovulation days since my cycles are so many days. I think the hardest part is trying to figure out how everything is going to work with all of our summer vacations. It's not very convenient to have to go into the RE when you are supposed to start the day you leave for Hawaii. Ugh. Hopefully everything falls into place! I will leave you with a picture of our bathroom remodel. Along with my father-in-law and brother, my wife and I spent a weekend with this project. Cutting the tile was ridiculously tedious! 
Before-
After-

No more mint chocolate chip!