Okay, I guess it's my turn...

Hi everyone!

Well, I decided that I have spent enough time in the shadows of our blog and needed to come forward so everyone knew there actually IS someone else in the equation.  Sorry it has taken so long, but in all honesty, it’s intimidating for me with this topic. I’m not as well-versed on the terminology as Kerry, nor am I as educated as most of the viewers of our blog.  So to save face, and not feel embarrassed, I’ve just hung out in the shadows.  The reality, though, is that I DO have value to add – and I’m ready to attempt to do just that.

I have blood work to complete and then we are ready to order our donor specimen.  We are getting so close to our first IUI procedure, and it’s exciting and scary all at once.  WOW, this is really happening!!  We’re going to be parents before we know it. 

I feel as though I have the outsider’s perspective on this entire process, and am likely experiencing some of the feelings that a lot of people in our shoes have experienced: 

Will I be affected emotionally by NOT having any biological tie to our child? 

Will our child love me the same, even though I didn’t birth him/her? 

Will I have the answers to the questions he/she will undoubtedly ask about their father?

Will my family feel connected to our child since there is no biological tie to me?

I sometimes feel like the innocent bystander to an accident that happens out on the street.  I see everything that is happening, and I have an understanding of what it all means, but I’m just standing idly by on the sidewalk, waiting for the accident to happen.  How am I going to TIE myself to the process and involvement so that I’m NOT that person?

 

Well…in my mind it’s easy:   Love.

A house full of love.  Answers full of honesty and love. Family and friends that share their love. 

Does that answer every question?  No, it doesn’t, but we aren’t delusional enough to think so either.  We just want to raise our child in love, honesty, and surrounded by people willing to offer their support at any time.  We will have a child that is blessed with two moms, and we’ll ensure he/she is also blessed with a positive, male influence throughout life.  

Typically, this is the point that a lot of people fear most:  no dad.

Well, I have a cousin who calls her step-father “Dad,” and views him as her father.  No biological tie there.  I have friends whose fathers were absent, yet they turned out just fine.  Our child will as well.

Are there other factors that will set them apart from their friends and classmates?  Of course, but it’s our job as PARENTS to ensure they feel safe, happy, loved, and have an understanding that there are many differences in people and life….and whatever they may feel about that is “OK” and acceptable!  And most importantly, we love and support them – always!

Hopefully I didn’t run the course of thoughts as erratically as I feel…but it feels good to get my thoughts on this board now.  If there are questions, ask them...we'll be sure to answer as best we can!

More to come, from both of us, as we continue down this wonderfully crazy road!!